Let's have a little fun! Place your vote...

[triprey]

Lets have a little fun in the news area on this one! Will do a poll on ya or na. What do you think about the following question?

Do you think a State or Federally funded college or university should tell the parents of an 18 year old, that their son or daughter has been caught either drinking under age or been in Passion of cannabis while at school; even on their own time?

Here is a news article on the subject.

US MN: SCSU Seeks Flexibility To Tell Parents
by David Unze, (08 Jan 2008) Saint Cloud Times Minnesota

St. Cloud State University is reviewing what circumstances can allow the university to legally contact parents about their child's behavior.

State law limits university officials' contact with parents or guardians of students to cases in which there is a health or safety emergency.

Federal law is much less restrictive and allows institutions to notify parents when their child is in violation of alcohol or drug policies, said Mike Gillilan, interim associate vice president for student life and development.

But the more restrictive state law trumps the federal law, he said.

He'd like to see more flexibility so university officials can have another option when trying to curb potentially dangerous behavior by students.

Being able to notify the parents of their child's underage drinking or possession of marijuana would be "a tool in the tool kit," Gillilan said. "This is not the be all, end all" in the battle to reduce high-risk behaviors, he said.

The university is looking at what types of cases might fall into the "health and safety" exception to the Data Practices Act and whether the university should contact parents more frequently, Gillilan said.

The university has contacted parents using the health and safety exception when a student gets intoxicated to the point they require medical treatment, he said.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom

Pubdate: Tue, 08 Jan 2008
Source: Saint Cloud Times (MN)
Copyright: 2008 St. Cloud Times
Contact: letters@stcloudtimes.com
Website: http://www.sctimes.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/2559
Author: David Unze
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/find?225 (Students - United States)

Now place your vote! Ya or Na

[midwestbluntman]

I say nay,If that child is 18 years old or older,then he/she is there own gaurdian.It would make no differance if the parents knew or not.So why would they want to disturb the mind set the parent holds of there child.I remember well when i was a young adult and its safe for any parent to assume that there child is living there own life the way they see fit.they are adults and need to be treated that way.If someone told me they were going to tell my mommy that i was a bad boy,Id laugh at there stupid fucking ass and hand them the phone.want me to dial it for you asshole,hahahahahahaha.

[CB]

the last thing they would want is ME on the other end of the phone :flog:

[majestyk5]

i feel that its up to the young adult to tell his/her parents.
once i turned 18 what i did was my business as far as i'm concerned. though i am 38 and my mom still grills me about what i do

[Dawg]

I voted yes. Typically a college student is there becuase of mom and dads tab. I would say yes, if the parents are paying for the school. No if the kid is there on there own.
I mean if I'm paying THAT much money and investing...then I have a right to know how my money is being used.
my 2:bits

[Even Crazier Van Guy]

I said ya as well... prob the only reason the "kid" is in college is cuz the parents put them there... the student is there cuz they r not yet an adult looking out for themselves in the "real" world - working and supporting themselves. If I ever found out my kid that I was putting thru college to get an education so they COULD look after themselves was pissing away their time and fucking up, heads would roll... as well as their ass out the door. "so u wanna play around? ... fine... get outta my face and do it on your own ass.... you wanna play like you are an adult? then u r resposible for your own actions and consequences... and DON'T come begging back at my door."

[Dawg]

I wouldn't kick em out. Every teen I met that got thrown out becuase of behaviour turned out bad and tragic. When all it takes a patience and support. I still don't know what kept my folks to hang on like they did....most woulda tossed me on my butt. I thank them for seeing me through the craziest parts of my life. I was an asshole, and crazy as hell....I don't want to even think how many times my poor ole ma laid awake wondering if she was gonna get the "phone call"....if they woulda tossed me out then who knows where'd I'd be now. I know she'll never read this post...but "Sorry Ma for bein a PITA"
Just my thoughts. Very cool poll BTW triprey. :D

[Profound]

I'd want to know so we could discuss it like intelligent adults at the time.
Understand Medicinal Use, Recreational Use and abuse.
As for the drinking...it's not a good thing and will kill you....but understanding moderation is another topic.

I'd like to know

[peakguy]

if a student is over 18, then he/she can keep parents from seeing grades, so why would the college be concerned about keeping parents appraised of behavior issues if they don't keep them up on academic issues? When I was first in college, the place I attended had a policy called in loco parentis, which meant they considered themselves to be the students parents away from home. However, that was a long, long time ago. By the time kids are 18 I don't think parents have that much influence over them anyway; the job is done by then and now it is just getting experience.

[Even Crazier Van Guy]

I understand fully that experimentation is a fact of life... you learn from your mistakes, however, that is the reason why kids experiment... to learn and grow up. experimenting is not the same as inbibing. repeat occurances/extremes will be the cause of such action as authorities contacting parents. that is an idication of abuse, not experimentation. THAT I will not tollerate.

I freely admit, I was no angel in my day... I just never carried it to the extreme where actions like discussed came about. the whole point of experimenting was to "grow up" ... which I did... I just had the intelligence not to make others suffer for my actions.

the whole point of growing up and acting like an adult is to learn to "fend for yourself", and not rely on others (your parents) to take care of the situation if things went bad. responsibility - is it right to dump one's burdons on their parents? (ie - I get some girl pregnant at an early age [no carrier or way to support my responsibilities now] and would expect my parents to look after the kid) <--just an example

alright... I'm not into argueing with anyone... I get too wrapped up in discussing stuff like this... I'm just gunna ignore the thread from now on.

sorry for getting uptight in the thread... I have a number of issues going on in my life where others feel I am resposible for their failings... just because I CAN solve their problems, does not mean I HAVE to do so... people just don't seem to understand that they r responsible for their own actions.

I stand by the motto... if you want to play, sometimes you gotta pay for it....

[Dawg]

Why i like this forum...peeps with some intellegent thought and good debating skills. without bringing in drama....:pass:
All killer points made here. :D

I don't think any parent is ever done being a parent....life long process....I still look to my folks for advice....they are after all the ones that rasied me....they "been there dun that" kinda folks...so who better than the ones with experience....rebellion I found was a passing phase....I am who I am now but think I'm a lil better than what I woulda been if they weren't the way they were....sorry...sentimental today I guess. ( I luv you ma!!!!...as dawg sobs.... ROFL)...time for more Rum n coke....

[CB]

Why i like this forum...peeps with some intellegent thought and good debating skills. without bringing in drama....:pass:
All killer points made here. :D



yep

IN :pass: some good input I think:) thx

made me think about the cost of collage to a parent which is an investment.... but if all is good school wise then it should be left at that is how I feel.... hell if my kid wants to smoke a bowl with me and just chill on a sat. or in his/her dorm yet is doing great grade wise who cares.

what if they are a med user?

what if ron paul is voted in and fix's the drug war boo-boo? :eek:

maybe spy cams in there rooms :shrug:

and yes Dawg you are a parent for life be it tuff love or just love;)

peace

[Dawg]

Dude truley hope to pass the green with my kid when he's grown that will be a good day. :D I look forward to that day...sorta like the first legal beer...same age too go figure...;)

[midwestbluntman]

Ive always let my kids make there own decisions,provided that the end results only effect them.I offer my input and lay out the preceivable outcomes of there actions,and leave it at that.surprizingly,they usually make the right choice,so that tells me that ive done a fair job of raising them.Some life lessons cant be taught,they have to find out on there own for whatever reason.

[triprey]

Looks like the NA's have it after a week of polling.

I agree! You have to let your kids learn on their own. You can help them alone, but when it comes right down to it, everyone seems to have to learn things on their own. After all the smartest day of my life was when I turned 18. I knew everything there was to know.

Then I went to college and the more I learned the more I realized I knew very little. Very humbling. After a few years, my parents became pretty smart people to me. They knew way more than I thought they did. I think every child has to go through this process. All we can do as parents is be there for them and hope they make the right choices.

Thanks for voting. 2thumbs

[sombro]

You are an adult at 18 for almost all legal purposes.

It's none of the parents business what you do in your spare time, even if they contribute to the cost of the schooling. There is an unwritten contract that the child won't take the parents for mugs over the issue and some parents think this extends to telling them how to live. It doesn't.

I don't believe any of this concern for the kids rubbish, what parents want is control.

Everybody, those concerned parents included, got fucking wasted when they were 18 and they didn't all turn into alcoholic bums.